


Kung Hindi Man (If It Were Not So)

by renzie17



Series: Zutara Kundiman [1]
Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Angst, Drabble, F/M, I suppose, This came out of nowhere, Whatever this was a whole spur of the moment kind of thing jfnvlkjnlbsb, kind of? i guess, set a few years in the future, zutara OPM
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-22
Updated: 2020-10-22
Packaged: 2021-03-09 03:48:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 890
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27147583
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/renzie17/pseuds/renzie17
Summary: “Kung di man nararapat sa iyong dikit, isang sulyap mo lamang aliw na ng dibdib.”(If I am not worthy to be by your side, just a glance of you would be enough to satisfy my heart.)— Nicanor Abelardo
Relationships: Katara/Zuko (Avatar)
Series: Zutara Kundiman [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1984771
Comments: 3
Kudos: 10





	Kung Hindi Man (If It Were Not So)

**Author's Note:**

> This came out of nowhere. I watched a zutara AMV and felt inspired to write something based on a kundiman (a Filipino Art Song).
> 
> This song is by Philippine National Artist for Music, Nicanor Abelardo. He’s famous for his kundiman works and they’re all so UGH. These songs hit different, okay? The way they’re arranged and written just strikes through my soul in a whole other level!
> 
> I put the translation of the lyrics at the end of the fic for your perusal. It was quite difficult to translate because some of those words we don’t even use in casual, even formal conversation anymore. I had to ask my mom for help! I hate that I don’t know these words ugh!
> 
> Anyway, I hope you like it!
> 
> The song: https://open.spotify.com/track/6VCbaqRFrO3l8pTWTZDQUW?si=sQq20RWXRn6jZDUsnImOdw
> 
> —
> 
> For Zutara OPM Day 4 - Revival

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****

**_KUNG HINDI MAN (IF IT WERE NOT SO)_ **

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_“Kung di man nararapat sa iyong dikit, isang sulyap mo lamang aliw na ng dibdib.”_

_(If I am not worthy to be by your side, just a glance of you would be enough to satisfy my heart.)_

— Nicanor Abelardo

º

Zuko strolled by the Fire Nation palace halls, clad in his formal robes. As the Fire Lord, it was expected of him to welcome the Avatar into his abode in his traditional wear, even though they had been friends for years. Aang, likewise, was in his traditional Air Nomad ceremonial robes, tailored as close to the original as possible. It had been over a hundred years since the last one was made, posing it quite difficult to recreate if it weren’t for scholars that studied their culture.

The Avatar bowed deeply as he was expected to in front of Fire Nation royalty. His smile was broad, eyes still bearing the childish mirth he had when they when they first met. It still surprises Zuko how he never seemed to run out of that spirit, no matter how many storms have come his way, no matter how many tragedies he had to endure even after the war had ended.

Closely behind the Airbender was the love of his life. She had dressed up in her traditional Southern Water Tribe garb as well, although without the thick pelts and fur—it was much too warm in the Fire Nation for such clothing. Her attire was similar to her casual wear, but much more elaborate with Water Tribe markings and embroidery.

She looked as beautiful as ever, her long brown hair in a thick, complicated braid. He wondered if she had done it herself, but knowing Katara, she probably had. She was much too stubborn to have someone else do it for her, especially if the two of them had just arrived on Appa without anyone with them.

She bowed deeply as well before looking up at him with a smile that made his heart ache. He felt his heart stop and his stomach drop.

So it was not over.

The feelings Zuko had been keeping for years were still there. He figured he always felt something for her. He did not know when it started or when he realized they were there. He thought maybe it was back when they were in the Crystal Catacombs of Ba Sing Se, but he wasn’t sure. It felt longer than that.

Maybe he had always loved her. “Always,” as in the absolute meaning of that word. Even before they existed in that lifetime, and even after that. Even before the sun came to being, even before the moon gave its light. Even before the era of the Lion Turtles, way before the spirits roamed free in the realm. Even before time had meaning, he loved her.

The feelings were back. He had not felt their presence for months as he buried himself in his paperwork and Fire Lord duties, thinking that maybe they would die out in the cold and dark chest he locked them away in. Yet here they were, breaking free of the chains with which he painstakingly tied them up.

He showed his friends to their room himself instead of one his servants, just one single room this time. It was expected at this point, they were practically attached to the hip, practically engaged.

Yet he still wondered what every glance, every word she would say to him meant because, he thought, they had to mean something! They just had to!

But perhaps they did not and he was only deluding himself to think that somehow he could still be with her, hold her hand like she would hold _his_ , kiss her and run away with her like she would do only in his dreams.

He wished she could see him beg, he wished she could hear his pleas. If she would only let him have her because he would let her have him over and over again, in this lifetime and the next.

For now it was expected of him to stay away, watch as she lived her life apart from the love he could give.

She smiled at him one last time before closing their door to get settled. He felt the door to her heart close as well. Now just the sight of her, the sound of her voice, a mere glance his way would be enough to satiate his desperate heart from the despair he was bound to fall into.

It would have to be enough.

º

º

Kung Hindi Man

Irog, sandaling dinggin ang aking pagtangis,

Irog, sandaling tunghan ang humihibik.

Kung 'di man nararapat sa iyong dikit,

Isang sulyap mo lamang, aliw na ng dibdib.

Kung saki'y wala nang inilaang paglingap

At ang pagdurusa ko ang siya mong pangarap,

Sa isang ngiti mong sa aki'y igawad

Libo mang kamatayan aking tinatanggap.

_ If It Were Not So _

_Beloved, hear my grieving,_

_Beloved, see how I lament._

_If I am not worthy to be by your side,_

_Just a glance would be enough to satisfy my heart._

_If you have no care for me_

_And only wish to see me suffer,_

_Then with just a smile you grant to me,_

_I shall bear a thousand deaths._

º

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